i need an iv and a liver transplant
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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