He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
