But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
