You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
