it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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