Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
