I hate all girls vehemently.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
