At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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