Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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