even my farts smell like vagina
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
