I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
