Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
