OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My life is pants optional.
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