it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
