you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
