it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
