What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
