oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
