This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
