I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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