dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
