she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
