ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Semen is not good for contacts.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
