"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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