He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
