i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
