i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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