Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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