oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
