Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
