does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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