I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
