i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
