Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
