i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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