Porn is love you can see.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
