Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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