i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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