You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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