maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
