none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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