Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
