Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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