We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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