3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
