His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
