thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
