He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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