Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
