he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It's just like the Real World with babies
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
